i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
