Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
