Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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