I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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