"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
