Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How does it feel to date your dad?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
