My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
