Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
