Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
