Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we're so committed to being not committed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
