I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
