you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
