bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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