i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
