I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
