Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
