chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
