Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
