If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
