At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
