Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
