party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
