nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
