dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
