Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will pee on everything he values.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
