If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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