amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
