I am puke
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
