I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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