I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
