Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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