Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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