mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
