You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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