Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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