Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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