What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
