I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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