i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
