i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
