that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
