that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
