i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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