and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am available for nakedness
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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