yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
