I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
