i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
