My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
