ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
