Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
