I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
