no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
